Me: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: What for?
Me: TO OPEN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS What do you fucking think for.
mrscphillips: Look at this guy he has three fucking arms if that doesn’t sell clothes I don’t know what will
I have a really comfortable mutual follow going on with some of you where we don’t talk a whole lot but it’s just really nice and I like seeing you on my dash and if you ever unfollow me I would be unjustifiably sad
Who wants to come watch old Pokemon movies with me? :3
Two churches located across the street from each... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts: Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
amixedreality: ladyofmischief: katoby: lucifersbutt: if an opinion falls in the forest and there’s no one around to hear it does tumblr still get offended by it yes yes I had a cousin fall and die in the forest you insensitive fuck
wvnderbar: arguing with people on the internet is like trying to explain quantum mechanics to a potato.
byebyebarbie: I was really shocked to see that Tim Burton had chosen Johnny Depp to star in his next film
Sex Tip #56
When your partner is least expecting it, steal the Declaration of Independence.
marththebland: I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger
me: opens tumblr
me: sees pictures of band members
me: makes weird noises
me: rolls off bed
me: rolls out window
me: rolls into street
me: rolls off the earth
me: floats into space
me: incinerates in the sun
me: reblogs post