September 2012
2 tags
i am really legitimately terrified of romney winning the election
i’m british and i’m terrified.
i’m greek and i’m terrified
i’m brazilian and i’m terrified
i’m german and i’m terrified
i’m polish and i’m terrified
i’m portuguese and i’m terrified
im from outer space and i’m terrified
i’m australian and i’m terrified
i’m norwegian and i’m terrified
i’m satan and...
all time low orders pizza.
pizza hut: hello how may i help you?
matt: i'd like to make an order for 12 large pizzas.
pizza hut: would that be delivery?
matt: yeah.
jack (in background): I'M FUCKIN' HUNGRY BITCH HURRY UP
matt: excuse me one moment... SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB BITCH DO YOU WANT YOUR PIZZA OR NOT... yeah sorry uh...
pizza hut: what would you like on your pizzas, sir...
matt: one cheese, three pepperoni...
alex (in background): NO ONE FUCKIN' LIKES PEPPERONI
matt: TOO BAD BITCH. sorry.
pizza hut: ...it's alright sir...
matt: four pizzas, right? so eight more....
pizza hut: yup that's correct.
matt: can i get two supreme -
vinny (in background): HELL YEAH LIKE MY DICK SO SUPREEEEEEEEEME
matt: ......
vinny (in background): WHERE MY BITCHES AT?
matt: NOT HERE. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
vinny (in background): PASS THE JAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
matt: i'm so sorry.... VINNY SHUT UP WE'LL GET YOU YOUR JAGER. anyways. six pizzas down. six more. uhh...let's get one veggie....
zack (in background): FUCK YEAH VEGETABLES
rian (in background): FUCK OFF BITCH
matt: um... uh.... four meat lovers...
jack (in background): EVERYONE LOVES MY MEAT
vinny (in background): MINE'S BETTAAAAAAAA, IT'S SUPREME!
matt: ...and a hawaiian....yes, a hawaiian.
alex (in background): EW NO THAT HAS NASTY FUCKIN' PINEAPPLES ON IT
matt: ...too bad. again, i am terribly sorry.... that's what you get when you have drunk men at 1 am with pizza cravings.
pizza hut: *awkward laugh* it's alright, sir. is that all for you? breadsticks? wings? soda?
matt: YES YES YES.
rian (in background): SENIORS 09 BITCH
matt: three orders of breadsticks, five orders of 44 peice wings... three blue ranch, two hot.
pizza hut: any drinks?
matt: six 2 liters of coke.
vinny (in background): WHAT ABOUT MY JAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BOIIIIIIII
matt: SHUT UP VINNY
pizza hut: is that all for you?
matt: yeah what's the total
jack (in background): 9 INCHESSSSSSSS OF MEAAAAAAAT!
pizza hut: that would be 295.33
matt: WHO'S GOT FUCKIN MONEY?! jack i know YOU do.
jack (in background): I MAKE IT RAIIIIIIIIIN
pizza hut: it'll be there in 45 minutes.
matt: really?
pizza hut: yes...have a nice day.
matt: god bless you, kind soul.
pizza hut: no...god bless YOU.
August 2012
2 tags
Watch
250,000 multicoloured balls bouncing down the streets of San Francisco
3 tags
gaydayparade:
i wish i could sing to fall out boy songs but there are two problems
how do you sing like patrick
what the fuck is he even saying
Due to the high amount of unused URLs on Tumblr,...
d-emigodishness:
klainenog:
reblogging because of the source omg
5 tags
infinityongay:
friendly reminder that in high school mitt romney and his friends violently assaulted a boy because mitt thought him having long hair was weird and wrong
toxic-ponies:
friendly reminder taylor swift and adele are the same age and one of them is married and pregnant while the other is still mentally stuck in middle school
The Hunger Games fandom: Gale was a ruthless murderer who intentionally killed innocent children and swam in the blood of a thousand slaughtered kittens, laughing with glee all the way.
The Hunger Games fandom: Cato was a precious misunderstood snowflake, come here my darling angel.
Plot twist: I get a boyfriend
Double plot twist: it's a band member
Triple plot twist: I didn't have to kidnap him
Quadruple plot twist: He had to convince me that we were perfect for each other
Now here's the joke: It's Chad Kroeger from Nickelback
*when my name is in a math problem*
class : *stares at me*
me : that's right bitches,i bought 60 watermelons!
2 tags
pregnancy test commercial: your body can tell when you are pregnant before you can
mom: so can republicans
thetimelordpirate:
Life is like a pair of pants. Some days you find money in the pocket, and other days your pocket catches on the doorknob of your classroom and you take out three desks and a foreign exchange student as you stumble in.
connorsrockinbooty:
complaining about how someone posts too much of a fandom when their blog description clearly says they are a part of that fandom is like getting upset at a cereal aisle because there’s too much cereal
annawintour:
if any of you guys ever met me irl you would probably go to the nearest free wifi hotspot and unfollow me straight after
sparklefap:
the only video gerard hasn’t died/nearly died/almost died in this year is fucking every snowflake is different
party poison just has a bad habit of droppin dead cmon man killjoys never die get that sweet butt off the ground
1 tag
sxizzor:
butthorn:
I just attended the best passion of the Christ play. As they were “nailing” Jesus to the cross the entire thing broke. No one knew what to do and it got quiet. Finally one of the guards on stage said “You get out of it this time Jesus”
omfg
1 tag
Never again say "I don't have the right...
so-adorabloodthirsty:
qichi:
http://www.supercook.com/
posting as a link because it’s literally the best website ever. you just tell it what ingredients you possess and it flings recipes at you!
well there goes my dinner plans
harleyquinnsexual:
solluxcaptor:
unclefather:
if you drop a baby the 5 second rule still applies
the 5 second rule only applies to things that you’re going to eat
so it does apply
